Monday, March 9, 2009, 1:57 PM

i dreamt of you.
it was so.. unreal.

it's like you've never been gone. at all.
you were just there. the same you.
& i was really, really shocked to see you.
& i cried, because..
i really miss you.
but you told me you're fine. that you're good.
in that same old voice.

& then i woke up, & i cried again.
\=

maybe i've been too caught up with my life now,
that i haven't been visiting you.
& i hate it.
i hate how i'm slowly losing your face & your voice & i'm doing nothing about it.
i lost your videos, i lost your photos, i lost your songs.
i lost your warmups.
& i miss your bubbletea treats, where you'll whine & everything but still treat us in the end.
& how you'll complain that you haven't done your choreography for your class & try to chiong before it starts, & still come up with something nice.
i..

):
... damned.

--

(11.21pm)

tonight is a perfect night for walking.
i walked home from Eastpoint, plugged into my iPod & just listened to the music.
calming.

occasionally i slip into thoughts
of the past, of the present, of what i expect of the future.

i wonder how i used to be like,
& how much i've changed;
how different are the present me & past me,
how different will i be from the future me.

mostly i remembered about the car with the plate number 2222
that used to drive down the same road i was walking along.
(:

--

i hate being emo.
but recently i've lost all motivation to do anything.
nothing seems to excite me anymore,
to give me the same kind of adrenaline rush that i so clearly need.

is this what they meant by being lost?

... i'm tired.